Désabusée.

Selfish
Assertive
Abused
Because i'm scared of appearing selfish, i find it very hard to be assertive and i end up being abused.
Life's a bitch.
(Life can be replaced by work / lab / boss / BBSRC / real-time PCR machine / grant proposal on which i've been working NON-STOP for the last 2 months so that THE OTHER postdoc can get more funding - and work on MY ex project - and use MY data to make HER future papers).
Hm.
But i'd really hate to appear selfish.
And lately, my lovely boss who made me drop my current project to work on this sodding grant proposal to fund SOMEONE ELSE cancelled our monthly meeting with our collaborator and used me as a scape goat. "We don't have much to show you, Eve's been away a lot recently". I've been AWAY ???
No, but, really, i'd hate to point out that i've been working like a mad woman for those last 2 months and that actually i'd like to get off on holiday now - what do you mean, i can't really, because now our collaborator thinks that i've ALREADY taken my annual leave and i need to QUICKLY get some results on the actual project i'm paid to work on otherwise we're going to be in big big trouble ??
OK, i guess as long as the OTHER postdoc gets some funding (and takes a nice summer holiday), i should be happy.
Because really, i'd hate to appear selfish.
[And i do like the other postdoc VERY MUCH, and i really want her to stay in our lab, which makes everything even worse.]